First of all I want to say that I am incredibly BLESSED to have a loving roommate who not only puts up with my mess, is one of my VERY BEST FRIENDS, but is also more than just a friend she is my sister in Christ and can give me wonderful guidance in any situation. When she gives me guidance I know it is really from her heart and that she would not tell me anything that would lead me in the wrong direction. I hope she can say all the same about me ...ughhh minus that mess thing...she really is not messy at all so I don't have to put up with anything!
With that said I have been talking with her for about a month now about a situation and how I should handle it. Like the relationship pro that she is ...she says PRAY about it. That should be common sense for all of us but the answer I had for her was not what it should have been...I already did that....my answer was I'm scared to Pray about it because I don't really know if I'm ready for the answer. This may sound crazy to you up until now but I have been hung up on a really really not good for me guy for a while now. We are great friends and that is EXACTLY how it needs to be. Needless to say I have been looking forward to having a really nice, Christian man come into the picture ...well Ive been waiting on that since I was 12 so....I guess JC is trying to tell me to quit doing this thing on my own and let him do a little work....because so far NO GOOD!!
Well out of No Where ..well somewhere...comes a really great guy. He has many of the characteristics that I am looking for in a man, loves me for me(which by the way is very important to me), puts up with me always shooting him down(because I don't trust men), is caring, soft hearted, would give me the world right now if I would let him, but most of all He LOVES the Lord(this is WAY, WAY important)!! So I am sure all of you are saying why is there any question here about what you should do...well there are a lot of questions for me. I have been done wrong by many guys throughout the years and that will damage a person no matter what you guys out there think. Past relationships cause a lot of pain on the next guy in line which is not fair ..they did nothing wrong. However, the aftermath of the cheating, lying, and talking down the guy ahead of him did is what turned me into the woman I am now when it comes to men. This is where that praying and asking for God's guidance comes in. I need to Pray and ask the Lord to show me what way he would have me go, ask Him to show me if I need to let my guard down, and I need Him to show me all the areas of this mans life that I need to know about in more detail.
This leads to the next issue. There are things about all of us that need work and improvement. I have many faults and they need to be addressed. However, have you ever noticed it is much easier to point out someone else's issues than your own. Well I am doing that to this man....I have found many things that I question about his past, what could possible lead to his future, and so on. I think it is a good thing to want to know everything about someone but at the same time it makes you question so much more. Many friends have told me that I am just scared and looking for a way out of finally having someone good pop up....I really don't think this is the case. I have been praying for the man that God has out there for me since I was 12 years old. I know that he is out there and I can't wait to meet him ...I will say that it is going to be hard to open up and trust again but I'm looking forward to it. I don't want to push someone away by trying to find things wrong with him but I want to be certain that I am not setting myself up for failure again. ONCE AGAIN....here is where that Prayer thing comes into play....If I would just stop and Pray about it I'm pretty sure I would get some answers I need. God only wants the best for us...He would never want me worrying over this or my future.
Needless to say I am by no means thinking I have met the man of my dreams....if it turns out that way GREAT if not I have one pretty amazing friend. The whole point of me sharing to the world my personal life is that we need to PRAY about everything. Its the simple answer but so many times we are scared of what the outcome may be good or bad. If spending some one on one time with JESUS talking to Him about all of our problems would take away hours of worry and bring us closer to Him ...why do we avoid doing it?? This is a challenge to myself and to you readers take some time out of your day and talk to JESUS he is waiting with an open ear and He wants to help us out. I possibly could have had my answer a month ago instead of all this stress but I will never know because Ive been scared of the outcome of my time with HIM. No longer am I putting my Prayer life on hold. Thanks for the most SIMPLE answer you could have ever given me AMY.....its PERFECT.....PRAYER is the answer to everything!!
Hope this was not too much of a jumbled up mess and I hope someone can get something out of it. We were created to Worship our Lord and Saviour. To Worship Him is more than singing. It is to have a relationship with Him, to spend time with Him, pray and talk to Him, and sing Praises to Him. The list could go on and on......buts its just this simple.